Lifetime and KFC’s Col. Sanders mini-movie destroys the Internet

It’s one of those things that sounds like a joke but is somehow, horrifyingly real: A Lifetime mini-movie/sponsored content exercise, produced in conjunction with KFC, starring Mario Lopez as Col. Harlan Sanders – a version of him who’s also a smoldering romantic suitor. 

But yes, A Recipe For Seduction is very much real, and is set to debut December 13 at noon. And yes, it’s only 15 minutes long. 

Lifetime, this time of year, airs “It’s A Wonderful Lifetime,” a seemingly endless series of Hallmark-style romantic Christmas movies, some of which star Mario Lopez himself. But A Recipe For Seduction is more of a traditional “Lifetime movie,” with crime, romance, and evil mothers-in-law. This one just happens to be a “a handsome, young chef,” with “secret fried chicken recipe and a dream.” 

And the trailer is even more ridiculous: 

The movie is described as “branded custom mid-form content,” which includes a special offer in which viewers can order KFC from UberEats, and also get get six free extra crispy tenders with a purchase of $20 or more. 

“We’re no stranger to heating things up for the holidays, just like our famous fried chicken scented Firelog. But let’s face it, we could all use a little distraction this holiday season, so why not fill some of your time at home with a suspenseful drama and the comfort of our world-famous fried chicken?” Andrea Zahumensky, KFC U.S. CMO, said in the press release announcing the movie. “A Recipe for Seduction is a perfect excuse to curl up at home and escape to your own happily ever after.”

Lopez’s more traditional Christmas movie,  FelizNaviDAD, will air immediately after the KFC mini-movie. 

The Twitter reactions were particularly humorous: 

Maybe the funniest part of the KFC Lifetime movie is knowing that they absolutely shot it during the pandemic. This was absolutely filmed at the risk to the lives of all involved, to make sure that we know Colonel Sanders fucks. Die For Brands. Die For Content. Live Forever.

— Brock Wilbur (@brockwilbur) December 7, 2020

Why am I thinking of the ending of Killer Joe? https://t.co/X9ppE8lE7X

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— Steven Santos (@stevensantos) December 7, 2020

The "Colonel Sanders F*cks" L*fetime movie is the logical nightmare result of the TV audience shrugging off product integration. Steel yourself for Hamburglar erotica.

— Emily Nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) December 7, 2020

I swear if you put one more C-lister in a Colonel Sanders costume to do ridiculously stupid shit I will find an old god with very low standards to summon while the chaos of 2020 is still thinning the borders between our worlds, and the destroyer will take the form of a chicken.

— Richard Jeter (@MilesToGo13) December 7, 2020

Bad news: the KFC Lifetime Col. Sanders movie is only 15 minutes long – about as long as Mario Lopez's first marriage.

— Funky Cold Moderna (@ThatElJefe) December 8, 2020

Inspired by @pacouceiro , I hope the Col Sanders thirst film spawns a whole genre of soft core chain restaurant themed movies.

"McRibbed for her pleasure"

"Wendy does Wichita"

— Mike Nelson (@mikenelson586) December 7, 2020