I think before I can continue with this trilogy (Frodo not Neo) I need to clarify what makes something a fear. There’s a lot of things out there that make people uncomfortable; for example, a lot of people feel uncomfortable doing public speaking but they don’t necessarily fear it, they’d prefer not to do it but if push comes to shove they’d be able to get up there and get through it. Now for someone with an absolute fear of it, nothing short of the will of God could make that person do it and if that will does one day come to pass they may just faint, convulse, vomit (true story), really do anything other than look like public speakers. For me, the thought of being average doesn’t just make me uncomfortable it down right terrifies me; I’m shaking right now just writing out you know what. The day I feel like I’m living average may just be the day I say goodbye to the world and all my unborn seeds because death would be a reprieve from that life of hell. See the difference? Good, now let’s continue.
Ok, so over this past week we’ve contemplated what my greatest fear was in Part 1, we’ve discovered what makes it my greatest fear in Part 2, and now we just need to figure out what exactly to do with this new-found knowledge. And that is……nothing. That’s right kids nothing; I’m writing a blog about facing fears and for the past two weeks we’ve gone over what my greatest fear is and I’m going to do absolutely nothing about it. But hold on, before you all go out rioting in the streets let me clarify. I swear I’m not throwing a big eff you to all of you, but I never said that all fears are bad ones either. My fear of being average is what makes me who I am, it’s what drives me to do everything I’m doing today in my life. Without it I’d probably still be living at home, I would have given up on my sports dreams years ago, and this blog would be (for lack of desire to find a better word) shit. Deciding what fears are good for you and which ones are bad for you can be a difficult thing to do, and it’s something that everybody needs to do for themselves. However, a good baseline for deciding this would be whether or not this fear keeps you from new, possibly better opportunities and whether or not it’s detrimental to others around you. This last question pertains in particular to my fear. By identifying it and determining how it shapes my behavior was my best step in keeping my fear in control. I know to many of you it seems like a very benign fear, that I shouldn’t have even wasted my time writing about. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth, if I don’t keep it in check I might one day turn into that egotistical douche bag that everybody hates (some would argue that’s already happened). We all have a fear or fears that drive us more than anything else; identifying and acknowledging that it’s there is half the battle; and ultimately each one of us needs to determine whether it hurts or helps us and needs to take the necessary steps to keep them under control. Now that you know a little bit about what makes me tick, what are you so afraid of?
For this post I think it’d only be fitting to choose a song by Kanye West. It’s called “Everything I Am” and it’s kind of him doing the same thing I am and addressing what drives him. I think he has the same fear I do, but he definitely lets it get out of hand sometimes. Regardless, it’s still a great song by a great artist. Follow him here and website here.Bonus: So you can relive the gloriousness that is Kanye. Hahaha