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No, We Don’t Care About Taylor Swift

And Tool toppling Taylor Swift’s Lover proves it. (Shout out to everyone who is too young to know that Tool has been around WAY longer than Taylor Swift).

I like to think of this as a sequel to my previous article about Taylor – a spiritual successor if you will. Actually it’s more of a reversal than anything.

Ushering In the Post-Reputation Era

Because it turns out that the Reputation era, which was pretty bad ass if you ask me, was over faster than T-Swift’s relationship with 85% of her beaus. Especially Tom Hiddleston, she did him dirty.

And life in the post-Reputation is about as exciting as watching bubblegum pink paint dry. Even Brendon Urie, a true vocal powerhouse, couldn’t save ME! – the first single off Swift’s 2019 album, Lover (which contains a whopping 18 songs!).

Many people, myself included, lament about the loss of “the old Taylor Swift” and how far she’s strayed from her country-inspired roots. Though that may be true, I think the real cause of the discontent is a longing for a return to substance and originality.

Shallow Synth Stuff

Taylor gives us superficial when all we really want is something deeper than surface level. As the people who have followed her for years and years grow up and mature, the music itself manifests as stagnant and juvenile, capitalizing on whatever shiny new social cause Swift decides to back during the album creation process.

I love a synth beat as much as the next chick, but damn…should someone tell her that other styles exist? Sometimes it’s hard to tell when one song ends and another starts, which is impressive when done well, but unfortunately Lover is not a representation of that phenomena. Sorry, but they all kind of sound the same.

Don’t Come for Me Swifties (Please and Thank You)

Just so this isn’t just a whole page of bashing T-Swizzle, I really do like “You Need To Calm Down.” I really hope the rumor about it being about Trump is true. And just so we’re clear, I think the songs are incredibly catchy.

At the end of the day, the only truly noteworthy accomplishments of Taylor Swift’s Lover are assembling a sampling of the world’s most fabulous individuals and reminding everyone who the hell Katy Perry is (but that’s a discussion for another day).

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